Life was simple back then. It always starts for me at our suburban house when the loud barks of our little dog wake me up. Every time, I’d check on that little egg on that little sparrow nest neatly placed outside the window of my room. When there’s no class and there’s nothing to do, I’d simply watch the clouds as it crawls across the untainted sky, cool wind breezes through, causing the distant bamboos to sway with that nostalgic cracking sound. Moments later, the neighbours would play an 80’s song, so vintage yet so calm and relaxing. The usual routine when living in a semi-rural area of a small city.
But I must move on, I have to go to college. I finally entered one, a rather prestigious school with an arguably difficult and prestigious course. Life was good for me, fast paced, exciting, and dreamy. Although this wasn’t the case until I met a very wonderful girl who really changed my life. I began believing in myself, that everything’s actually within my reach if only I persevere to obtain it. I even managed to be on the dean’s list, at least. Since meeting her, my mind had become focused on a very long term goal. Everything’s so clear. It’s as if a blueprint was already laid out for me, I only have to make it come true. I believed everything’s going to be good for us. The path is well lit, or so I thought.
It will be an understatement to say that my world revolves around her. She is my world! Sure, we’d come into fights, who doesn’t? Sometimes, there are things we just couldn’t just easily resolve. But these things just made us stronger. We go to different places, do many things, all while enjoying each other’s company. I don’t even have time to do what I used to enjoy before I met her, since being with her was the most fulfilling for me. I couldn’t miss a moment away from her, I couldn’t even stand not to have a glimpse of her once in a while, not that I was afraid she will disappear, but the sight of her just always made me realize the extent of God’s greatness.
Time really flew fast. 22 months seemed too short for me. So fast that it actually left me, I was caught off guard, I wasn’t prepared, and I was confused what was going on. Before I realized it, it’s over. I cannot even remember well how it ended.
This is probably how every wonderful dream should end. You are not supposed to know that it’s near and abrupt. Literally, when thinking about it right now, I really have difficulty telling myself that it was not a dream. Even the whole half a decade away from home seemed like a very big dream for me that has just ended.
Now I’m back again, fully awake. Trying to remember the good things, memorable things that happened in that ‘dream’, because it’s very faint and confusing that it hurts. You know, the feeling where you really wanted to remember something you know that can really make you happy, but you can’t. So here, I’m awaking again to the barks of our dog. While writing this, I am actually staring straight into the blue sky again. Wondering how the clouds kept on moving, or was it the clouds that are moving or the earth simply rotates too much that the clouds get left behind? The same set of 80’s song is being played again, and I wonder when the next rain’s coming so I can drown my thoughts. Needless to say, I’m back to my ‘home’. The only certain thing now is that whatever that ‘dream’ was, I very big part of me was lost with it.
I’m afraid that in my next sleep, I wouldn’t be able to have a dream like I did.
